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HELLO GRANDMA ANNIE I HAVE BEEN READING YOUR SITUTATION. YOU KEEP THAT POSITIVE THINKING. GOD HEARS YOUR CRIES. HE SAID TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER NO MATTER WHAT AND IT SEEM THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I WILL RAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY ALSO.YOU LET GOD GIVE YOU REST AT NIGHT JUST LET HIM HAVE EVERYTHING CLOSE YOUR EYES A SLEEP WELL I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE PAIN YOUR FEELING BUT YOU ARE IN MY PRAYER LITEHOUSE
I am trying to answer personally everyone who writes to me and tries to let me know that they are thinking of me and my situation, praying for me, and sending comforting messages. Please understand if I missed sending you a note, it was an oversight. I am, like all of us, imperfect, although I am trying. Please know that I go to all the aidpages and try to advise where I would look for help, since some people really do have no idea where to turn and do not know about some options that they may be able to access. I thank you all for the love and concern. It means so much to me. I know that through these pages I have gained some friendships with people I would never have met any other way. Thank you all very much. Stephanie.
DEAR GRANDMA ANNIE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR ADVICE. SOMETIMES PRAYER IS ALL WE HAVE . JUST BE STRONG. I ALSO HAD LOST MY KIDS TO MY EX HUSBAND FOR 7 YRS. JUST BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY, THAT WAS HOW I STARTED LOOSING ALL MY TEETH. I WILL CONTINUE PRAYING FOR YOU AND IF I CAN I WILL TRY TO HELP.CONTINUE BEING STRONG. GIVE ALL YOUR STRENGHT TO GOD... THIS STROM WILL PASS..I PROMISE YOU THAT. GOD BLESS YOU.
Lord, Please intervene in this situation. Help this dear woman. Bless her to get her grandchildren back. Deliver her daughter from her destructions of drugs and everything else. Unite this family. Save them. Provide for all of thier needs. Please heal Stephanie. Take all the pain from her body. Uplift her spirit. Give her joy. Amen.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007: Sleep was difficult, got a really nice note from an aidpage friend. It came just as I was sitting here feeling very down, It helped a lot. I know that somehow God will help me. I sometimes wake up at night thinking I heard them calling me and then I can't sleep. It is difficult to feel like they need me and I can't even talk to them, let alone see them and hold them close. I feel like they need comfort and I can't give that to them. I long for them to hurl themselves at me, throwing their arms around my neck, wild with laughter, or scared of the "monsters in their room" or just because they want to say, "I love you, Grandma."
Early Wednesday a.m. can't sleep. I was in bed, but I am unable to sleep right now, probably combination of worry and aches and pains of the fibromyalgia. I checked the baby, who is sleeping like an angel, but I am not quite so fortunate. I didn't get to talk to the kids, as they didn't get to the assigned place to visit with their Mother. I don't know if she went to see them or not. That is part of the problem, she doesn't go often enough and then sometimes she goes all the way from Brooklyn to the Bronx and the foster care "Mother" doesn't get there with the children! It is really crazy. I don't understand any of it. Imani was two yesterday and Jadah will be five on Saturday. I wanted to say "Happy Birthday" to them, at least. I can't send them anything, wish I could but then I am not sure they would get it and I also don't have the money to get stuff for them. I am reasonably sure that the Law Guardian and Social Worker make notes on that and will use it to crucify me to the court. I know it sounds terrible but I don't trust the foster care agency to send letters or pictures to them if I send them because I have never gotten one picture they have drawn or anything back after sending things and I know Jadah would make me something,(since I had asked)Funny, she used to send me stuff when she was with her Momma. I just don't trust these people at all. They have already proved to me that they don't care one bit about promoting a relationship between the kids and I. I keep praying and I hope you all will also. Thanks for every single prayer, message, comment, offer of advise...I am grateful to everyone, for any contribution to the cause-no matter what it consists of.
Boy, what a mess is my life--NOW, after I told the people at Dish Network to shut down the account, and I would send their crap back to them--they went and took money out of my account and overdrew my bank account! I have never had an insufficient fund check and now I have! I had called the bank and told them I didn't authorize any more money out of my account by anyone, then I called the Dish idiots and told them to NOT take money out or I would have to sue their butts...Well, now I am really hopping mad! I called the bank, left a message and told them that after banking there for over ten years that I was very upset at this and so they may as well close the account and forget me ever banking there again. It won't happen. I am tired of people NOT LISTENING when I make it plain what I want done on things like this. MERCY SAKES ALIVE!
Monday May 21, 2007. Imani turns 2 today. I am so sad, haven't been able to spend her first birthday nor her second birthday with her. Jadah will be 5 years old on Saturday the 26th. I am hoping to be able to talk to them when visiting time rolls around tomorrow for their Mother. I hope that I can at least have a few minutes to talk to them. I hope that they are OK. I miss them so much. 23 months is a long, long time to spend without seeing them.
The pics of Jadah and Dante, that have the dates on them were taken by their Mother in N.Y. about 6 months before they were removed from home by the ACS department. The picture of their Momma and Imani was taken when Imani was newborn, at my home in Nebraska, before they had left here. How on earth can anyone expect me to not be totally devastated? Laura (my daughter) would tell them to smile so she could send a picture of them to Grandma coz she loved them so much and missed them a lot! Cute aren't they? They looked hot, they didn't have air conditioning and this was August in the city.
Sunday May 20, mid afternoon. I wonder if anyone would be interested in buying a lovely diamond ring. It is a one of a kind that my Mother designed and had made at the nicest jewelry store in Lincoln. It is worth quite a bit, the center diamond is a VS diamond (very slight imperfections) it has 6 graduated sized diamonds (three on each side of center stone) which are also very nice. It is set in 14K yellow gold. It is a fairly large ring, as Mom wasn't a small petite handed woman. I have an appraisal for it but the replacement cost would be quite a bit higher now. I can take it to my jeweler and see what it would cost to replace it, if anyone is interested. I am thinking that it may just do me a lot more good off of my finger than on it. I won't just practically give it away, but I do need the money to get my grandchildren home. Thanks for any help.
Sunday morning; May 20th, 2007. Talked to Cyndi, my step daughter a bit ago. She is a gem. She doesn't have a way to help me either, too many Dr. bills of her own and that sort of mess. She is such a comfort. I met her at age 11, she and her brother came to live with me and my ex husband when she was 12. I love her so, she loves me back, which is wonderful. My bio-kids are so immature and self-absorbed. I guess it is mostly because they are young and got into drugs, which will stunt your maturation process--but it hurts that they have just given me five grandchildren now and want to put them on "the layaway plan" with me until they can take any responsibility. My youngest daughter had a stillborn daughter before the little one I have here. She seemed to think that using drugs and not eating, or getting pre-natal vitamins was OK. As a result my little Kira was born at 26 weeks after not moving for a couple of weeks. I always know that Kira is w/ my Mother who died in 1994. It comforts me some to know that Mom will take care of her for me.